


Resting, But Never Forgotten

by neomints



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minor Angst, Spoilers for the manga after the nationals arc, its a thought piece abt nekomata and ukai sr's relationship over the years, they're in love but not married...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neomints/pseuds/neomints
Summary: "Ukai, what if I told you..."Nekomata shifts onto his side, and lets himself look into Ukai's eyes. He brushes his free hand against Ukai's and leans in close."What if I... if I told you.. that I think I'd like to have a husband instead..?"Ukai widens his eyes and his mouth parts slightly.By all means Nekomata knew he'd be shocked but... there's no terror in his eyes."You... you can do that?"--Nekomata has been drawn to Ukai since they'd met. This is the story of how their feelings progressed.The things that changed, and the things that stayed the same.





	Resting, But Never Forgotten

Some things are meant to be forgotten.

Others withstand the test of time far longer than anyone may have anticipated. Longer than anyone could've ever seen coming. They tend to grow and prosper and stagnate at just the right time.

Resting, but never forgotten.

\--

It started with a boy.

Two of them, if you want a story.

Twelve, if you're being pedantic.

It started with eleven boys on a court. One on the bench.

He sat there, slouching; catlike eyes analyzing the court as a whole, finding holes and weaknesses to exploit, inexperience painted over by sheer game sense. His eyes could see more than the average child's, and with them he gets to grips with the teams before him, building a battle plan for when he moves on.

Yet his eyes always seemed to gravitate towards one individual.

_(The boy with the slouch is looking this way again.)_

But I suppose that's a fact that won't change anytime soon.

\--

The seasons pass and spring brings change.

New scenery, new school, new friends, new opportunities, a new team.

_(Tokyo felt so very far far away.)_

Suddenly Nekomata feels like the world is smaller than it'd ever been before.

\--

He's in highschool when they meet again.

Nekomata doesn't need to gravitate this time, the boy does the work for him.

_"There you are!!" _He'd said.

And Nekomata feels his eyes widen.

_"Prepare thyself, Bakeneko!"_

_"I hope you have more than just brute strength to show this time. I'd hate to see you lose."_

_"HEY-!"_

Nekomata can't ignore how Ukai had said it like he had been looking for him.

_And, _he thinks, _maybe he was looking for him too._

\--

They exchange landlines this time.

It's difficult, getting his parents to agree to let him try and call Ukai after dark. He knows the boy would be in practice until then, but his parents insist he's being a bother. Combined with the call fees increasing not long ago, and the uncertainty of wether or not Ukai would be able to answer, well...

Getting a reply was a rarer occurrence than Nekomata would've liked it to be.

The phone clicks in his hand.

"Hello? This is the Ukai household, we aren't buying anything and my parents aren't home so-"

"Hey, wait stop it's me!"

"...Bakeneko?"

"No it's kokkuri-san"

"Shut up."

Nekomata giggles into the reciever.

They talk for what feels like years, neither of them failing to come up with something new to say.

Ukai talks more, in the long run, and it's less to do with Nekomata's own speaking habits and more to do with the way Ukai's voice sounds through the handheld.

It's grainy, an undercurrent of static making it hard to make out the _shu's_ from the _tsu's_, and Nekomata struggles to keep track of what he's saying when the distance between them leaves the words garbled and whisked away.

But he can't stop listening.

For as strange as he sounds on the phone, the voice is undeniably _his_. It's loud and grating and accusatory, but warm and safe in a way Nekomata can't quite put his fingers on.

When Ukai catches him spacing out, he can't help but think that it's not his fault. After all, anyone would find themselves gravitating if they heard a voice like that. Not to mention he only gets to hear his best friends voice every month or so, and he appreciates whatever he can get.

(Even if the little voice in his heart knows it's a little more than just that.)

"Ukai-kun," Nekomata whispers, softer than the way he does when he's huddled with his teammates. Warmer than when he whispers a secret to a classmate.

Though not gentler than when he mutters it to the sky at night.

"Yeah?" Ukai's voice comes through the reciever. 

It makes Nekomata's heart burn, and his head race. And that's why he doesn't think twice when he whispers again.

"My gramps has a house in Miyagi, and we're going to stay at his next holiday. Do you... would you come with us?"

To say it was silent wouldn't be correct. Nekomata could hear the static. He could hear the movement on the other end. He could hear the hum of his mother's fridge.

He could feel the drumming of his heartbeat.

"I... I can ask my mom."

Nekomata hums, "ask her now then."

"She's asleep, I can't just wake her-"

"I'll wake mine too. So I can ask her. I don't know when we can talk like this again so we need to do this quick okay?"

"..."

"Unless, you think you couldn't handle it..?"

"Erk- challenge accepted then."

Nekomata smiles to himself even when his mother chews him out, and when he has to watch her talk to Ukai's mom over the phone, exchanging reprimands on both ends.

He smiles even when she tells him how strange it is for a boy to want to have another boy over so bad.

He smiles all the way until he goes to bed.

He has a whole weekend just for them. 

A whole weekend with Ukai.

\--

"Ukai-kun."

"Yeah?"

Nekomata shifts a bit on the terracotta roof he's laying on. His sleeve catches a twig and he jerks it free. 

"Do you ever think about things? Like, things that people say we should be."

He hears shifting beside him, so he glances out of the corner of his eye.

Ukai is laying down too, one arm cushioning his head, the other laying down between them; forgotten as he watches the stars above.

Nekomata keeps his arm on his chest.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

Nekomata chuckles and it feels good against the night. It lets the cool air into his lungs, counteracting the warmth that's been flaring in his chest ever since he'd rolled up to Ukai's house to pick him up this morning.

"I wouldn't deny it, but no that's not what I mean."

Ukai hums, "what do you mean then?"

Nekomata swallows and looks at the sky.

What _does_ he mean?

It could be anything really. He should really be thinking about studying. Or maybe he should be thinking about what job he'll have. 

Most people tell him he should really be thinking about the rest of his life. _'What university are you going to Yasufumi-kun?' 'When are you moving out Yasu-chan?' _

_'You'll find a beautiful wife so me and your father will have beautiful grandchildren too, won't you Yasufumi?'_

Nekomata feels his heart sink to his stomach.

_That's what he meant, isn't it?_

"Bakeneko? You alright?" 

Nekomata hears him shift his head to his side, feels the hand hanging between them coming dangerously close to his shoulder. He feels the oppressive pinpricks of light and beauty shining down on him from the breathtaking view above and he knows, _he knows_, that he'd rather be looking at something else instead at the moment.

Someone else.

He doesn't take his eyes off the stars.

"Ukai-kun," he whispers in the voice he knows he reserves for the boy beside him.

The gravity that pulled him to this moment, and keeps doing so every day holds him taught.

"Yeah?" Nekomata feels the barest impression of Ukai's breath on his ear and shivers.

"What if I told you I don't want to have kids?"

Nekomata doesn't look at Ukai, but he can imagine the face he's making.

His eyes are probably round and huge, eyebrows pushed to the edge of his forehead, mouth closed in a dumb half-pout that always leaves Nekomata thinking about his lips.

"Uh, I guess I wouldn't care?"

Nekomata hums, "what if I told you I don't want a wife either?"

The confusion is evident in Ukai's voice, "good for you, I guess? I don't see what the problem is with that."

Nekomata nods, closing his eyes, willing the rhythm of his soul to calm itself enough for words to return to him.

"Ukai, what if I told you..."

Nekomata shifts onto his side, and lets himself look into Ukai's eyes. He brushes his free hand against Ukai's and leans in close.

"What if I... if I told you.. that I think I'd like to have a husband instead..?"

Ukai widens his eyes and his mouth parts slightly.

By all means Nekomata knew he'd be shocked but... there's no terror in his eyes.

"You... you can do that?"

It's like watching a puzzle fall into place.

One second Ukai's lips are a dream for late midnights, the next they're a reality in the very midnight that Nekomata had once learned to dread.

Ukai is clumsy, but pushes through with sheer determination.

_("Trying to force your way through brute strength is sooo old, I'm telling ya you gotta use your brain."_

_"I'll defeat you one day!"_

_"I accept your challenge.")_

Maybe it would've hurt if it was anyone else, but Nekomata learns that sometimes the fun is in having the competition, and not always in winning it.

\--  
_  
"Yasufumi we can't keep doing this."_

_"..."_

_"It's not your fault. You know I love you and I wish it wasn't like this but-"_

_"I know. I get it. Everything ends eventually. Highschool, volleyball, childhood... us."_

_"I'm sorry" _

_"It's not your fault either."_

_"I know, but I hate that it had to end like this, if I could just single handedly beat up those guys for you I'd-"_

_"You always did solve your problems with your fists."_

_"It's why you love me."_

_"...It's why I loved you."_  
  
\--

They always seem to meet when they least expect it.

It'll be radio silence for months, then everything would change with one encounter, or a phonecall, or a glance across the train.

Sometimes they'd kiss again.

Maybe for old times sake, maybe because of a beer or two, maybe because Nekomata still isn't over it, a decade and three kids later.

He never had them himself of course.

Or a wife.

Ukai was different.

He fell for a woman, and after that the two of them stopped kissing.

Ukai and Nekomata of course.

Ukai's wife wasn't so unlucky.

It's not like he's a secret to her or anything. Nekomata talks to her sometimes. He's met their kids.

Eventually he meets their grandkids too.

It's strange seeing Keishin in middle school.

He looks so much like the old man that it makes something ache in Nekomata.

A lot of things ache in him recently.

More ache in Ukai.

But they'll survive until they have their fated match.

_(The promised place.)_

\--

"The redheaded shrimp came by again today."

"Number ten for the past two years, right?

"Mhm, and you won't believe what he was wearing."

Nekomata chuckles, "I can't believe the legendary Ukai actually concerns himself wit fashion trends these days!"

"Shut up! It's not like that."

"Well, what is it that caught your eye so much you had to call me about it?"

"He was wearing a jersey."

Nekomata raises an eyebrow, "a jersey?"

"Yes. A number five jersey, a _Nekoma_ number five jersey. Ring any bells?"

Nekomata's eyes widen, and for a second he's brought back to a time long gone, when _red_ wasn't synonymous with _team spirit_, when _black and white_ were the colors of youth, of rivalry, of friendships, of things they've refused to name since then.

(Love. Love. Love. _Love_.)

"It seems to me like fate has had her way with us, huh Ukai?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

Nekomata smiles.

He thinks maybe he's been calling it gravity all along.

\--

Ukai breaths out a sigh as his son's laptop clicks shut.

He's been talking to Nekomata much more often since he was hospitalized, the old sap must think he's on the edge of his life by how much he's seen of him.

Not that he minds.

Not that he's ever minded.

Ukai leans back in his bed and closes his eyes. He cushions his head in one arm; the other laying down forgotten in the empty space between him and the ghost of a memory; as he imagines watching the stars above.

He imagines first meetings, and subsequent encounters.

Imagines first endings. And second endings. And third ones, and fourth ones.

First kisses, last kisses. Goodbyes, hellos. Wins, losses. 

_(I love you. I love you too.)_

He imagines fate, dragging him back to frayed edges, where the string has been drawn out and repurposed into something new.

_(Number 10 and number 5 stand together on the court._

_Red and orange._

_White and black._

_"One day I'm going to win and make you say something other than not much!" "I'm going to beat you one day!"_

_"I'm looking forward to it." "I accept your challenge.")_

Ukai thinks of his home.

Of the same rooms he always lived in; that he inherited from his parents.

He thinks of the old worn out landline no one's bothered to throw out of the attic.

He thinks of the old bedroom he'd once lived in, and of the old creaky closet he'd only felt brave enough to clear out when his own grandson had done the same with his.

He thinks of an old shoebox, dusty and overtaken by the elements. In it proof of the past decades of his life. Gifts he's been given and mementos he's kept over the years.

He thinks of a jersey; a white and red number ten jersey from tokyo; the edges frayed from secretly being worn; stretched from the body of a growing boy, who'd held onto it like the thought of his best friend, his rival, the person he'd always wished he could wake up next to for the rest of his life. 

He thinks of the jersey, sitting in it's box untouched for decades.

_("I've missed you, Yasufumi."_

_"I know."_

_"I wish I'd gotten taken for university in Tokyo-!"_

_"Don't push yourself, Ikkei. Here, I brought you something."_

_"This is..!"_

__

__

_"My jersey from when we met at nationals, yes."_

_"Yasu I can't... I can't take this from you."_

_"You don't get a choice. I can't let you forget about me when you don't have volleyball to remind you."_

_"What are you, an idiot? I'd never forget you, not in a million years!"_

_"Well I wouldn't forget you in a billion!"_

_"I bet I could do more than that."_

_"Challenge accepted.")_

Resting, but never forgotten.


End file.
